Fishing Methods - How to deal with questions...

Actually Catching Something.
Advice for Parents of Young Anglers

Fish Suppers for Sailors
A guide to fishing for yachtsmen.

"Did you catch that here?"

"No. I caught it over there."

...the chap nodded and strolled off with his family group, apparently satisfied, as I slipped the trout back into the water.

Two small ones

There's not a lot you can do to hide your catch if someone comes along as you're landing it but over the years I've come to realise there's only one sensible answer to the inevitable question: "Have you caught any?"

It's: "Two small ones."

Two small ones are enough to satisfy the casual stroller that it's not worth hanging around to watch you catch another one and yet to explain why you might continue to fish on in foolish hope. If you admit to none (s)he will persist in telling all about the monsters that dashed for cover half an hour ago as Rover scampered into the water after a stick. If you admit to catching three dozen beauties you're inviting a spectator who will thump up and down the bank, peer into the water to look for fish around your tackle and generally ensure you will catch no more.

Two small ones are enough to satisfy other, casual, anglers that they should look farther along the bank.

Two small ones are not enough to interest commercial netsmen who might shoot a net that night if you admit to catching several large, saleable, fish.

Sometimes you may be caught out: "But I saw you catch a huge bass only ten minutes ago, it must have weighed at least five pounds..." to which it's best to demur and point out that fish seen at a distance are deceptive and in any case you doubt it was over the legal minimum size.

Afterwards

It's natural to want to tell someone about your trip afterwards. When showing photo's of your catch to other anglers in the pub they're bound to ask where. If you've enough prime fish for a barbeque you naturally want to bask in the hunter-gatherer's due glory. Even so, when asked where you caught them try to be vague: "Hastings" will be enough for most enquirers, no need to add: "In the west-side scour at the base of the old breakwater during the first half of a dropping tide just after the fishing boats had discarded their scroff in the shallows." (Which information I just invented as an example — I apologise if this is your own secret venue... It's a pure guess, honest, I've never fished there.)

Why not tell the whole truth?

In the 'Finding fish' section of this site I outline some of the consequences.